Love of my Life
by MimiK
Summary: Post series 1/series 2 AU with fluff, love and drama; Andith
1. To Fight

_AN: I always love the idea that Anthony Strallan participate in WWI because of his work for the Military Intelligence Service. In addition, I was in need for some fluff. Here is it now, my Post series 1/series 2 AU with love, fluff, drama - and definitely a happy end for Edith and Anthony._

 _I'll use some well-known dialogues, which I don't own. I'll rip them apart and take them out of the context without being sorry. It has to be done. Enjoy reading!_

* * *

 **Love of my Life**

Chapter 1: To Fight

 _August 1914_

"I am very sorry, my lady", Harryson, the butler of Locksley demanded resolutely. "Sir Anthony is not welcoming any guests today."

Edith ignored the inappropriate tone of his voice. She somehow felt that if she would give up now, she would have missed the opportunity forever. "And I am very sorry, but I have to speak to him in an urgent matter", she replied in the same tone.

Harryson tried not to roll his eyes. His master had told him that he didn't want to speak to anyone, especially not to Lady Edith. Whatever had happened at the Crawley garden party, the war seemed Sir Anthony a welcomed alternative. Then again, Harryson wasn't sure how to handle a woman as resolute as Lady Edith in this matter.

So, finally, the butler gave in. Sir Anthony was a calm and kind gentleman. Most probably, he would forgive this indiscretion. About the young lady, Harryson wasn't so sure.

* * *

Anthony Strallan was packing some papers in his library, when Harryson entered the room. The declaration of war to Germany urged the baronet to be in London sooner than expected; very much sooner.

"Lady Edith", Harryson announced.

Sir Anthony turned around. "What? Didn't I say…"

"Please don't blame him", Edith's voice said. "I made him to give in." To underline her words, Edith looked at Harryson, who immediately left the library and closed the door behind him.

However, she had managed it the sweet and lovely girl had turned in a self-assured young lady over night. Anthony Strallan was surprised.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Sir Anthony", Edith began her well planed speech. "But... Are you leaving?" Her eyes fell on the case he had started packing.

"Yes, err... Due to the war my presence is requested in London."

"Oh." The _girl_ returned, but for a short moment only. "I don't want to delay you, Sir Anthony. I'm only here to say that whatever was said on the garden party yesterday..."

"As a matter of fact, I'm glad to have you to myself for a moment", Sir Anthony interrupted her speech. "You see, I couldn't bear for you to think that we might..."

"Because of what Mary said yesterday? Because, you know, it wasn't true. She only said it to spite me."

Sir Anthony shook his head. "No, it's not because of that. And if you say it wasn't true, I'm sure it wasn't. You see..."

Edith's gaze cut him off. They looked at each other in silence for a moment.

"I have one single question to you", Edith finally spoke her mind. "If my sister's word, her lies did hurt you so much, what does it say about our friendship?"

The answer came hesitantly after some further quiet minutes. Edith's heart seemed to stop beating. She panicked and hoped for the same time. And her hopes were rewarded with an answer.

"I'm truly sorry, Lady Edith that I doubted your honesty, which is actually highly valued by me", Sir Anthony began. He looked at her with an expression in his eyes that made her nearly cry. "Your sister's word hurt me more than I was due."

Edith tried to interrupt him, but he silenced her with a single gesture.

"As I told you, I have to leave for London today, but I hope that we'll stay in contact and will return to our friendship habits as soon as this war is over.

* * *

Harryson waited not far from the door of the library, just in case. He was surprised about the changes in both, Sir Anthony and Lady Edith, when they finally left this room.

"And you won't forget to let me know that you are alright?" she asked at the doorstep.

"I promise", Sir Anthony answered. "And don't worry, Lady Edith, I will back before Christmas."

He bowed over her hand and placed a kiss on it.

"Promised?"

"Promised."

* * *

Edith returned at home just in time for luncheon.

The atmosphere in the house was quite tense. Everyone seemed to be lost in his own mind. Her mother definitely feared for her husband to be enlisted again. Lord Grantham was keen to be back in uniform soon, while Mary was busy to display her patriotism.

"What will happen now?" Sybil thought aloud over her meal. "All these people fighting against each other."

"That can't be avoided after all these Germans provocations", Mary replied.

"But people will die", Sybil gave back with indignation. Her high moral standards didn't align with the common war fever.

Their mother cut the discussion off, before Mary was able to answer. "You have been away all morning, Edith. Where have you been?"

"I went to the village to buy some yarn and called at Anthony Strallan's house afterwards."

Mary made a noise, which sounded like a suppressed laughter. Cora ignored it and focused on Edith's words. "Is everything alright with him? He left so early yesterday."

Mary's laughter became louder.

Edith starred at her with anger, but answered her mother with a calm voice. "Yes, he's fine. He told me that he had to go to London due to the war."

"He's on the run, I'd say", Mary blurred out.

Her mother's gaze silenced her again, while her father raised an eyebrow only.

"It's good to hear that nothing serious happened to him", Cora finally said. "Let's hope that all our neighbours will be fine when this war is over."

* * *

"Didn't you say that Sir Anthony would be going to propose?" the Earl of Grantham asked his wife, when she later joined him in the library.

"I thought so, yes", she replied. "Perhaps this war business kept him away from his plans."

"Then I hope that he will return to them soon. I don't want Edith's hopes destroyed by those silly Germans."

Cora's answer was a sigh.

* * *

Later that day, Sir Anthony arrived at the War Department in London. He was welcomed by Lord Ashburn, his direct superior.

"I'm glad, you could come at such short notice, my dear Anthony", Ashburn greeted his guest. "Hope you're fine."

"Yes, thank you", Anthony replied. "What are the current plans?"

"The current plan is to collect as much information about our enemies as possible." Lord Ashburn's gaze went lost somewhere."

"I suppose, I'm going to Germany then", Anthony concluded.

"To Germany? No, not yet." Lord Ashburn shook his head. "I want you to go to Paris and perhaps to Brussels. A close coordination with our allies is first priority at the moment."


	2. A Letter Only

_AN: thank you for your lovely reviews! Hope I'll be able to fulfill my readers' expectations. ;-))_

* * *

Chapter 2: A Letter Only

 _December 1914_

The first Christmas time during the war was filled was an odd mixture of pleasant anticipation and sore conscience. More Christmas parties than usual were planned. It was like people at home tried to show their disgust at the enemies and their patriotism by a very traditional and markedly English way to celebrate this time of the year.

Edith felt it a bit weird, because she thought some of the customs more German than English. But she didn't dare to spoil everyone's joy.

A lot of Christmas cards arrived. Many packages were sent to friends as well as to the fighting troops. Lady Cora prepared a small parcel for Matthew too. It contained tea and biscuits, a scarf knitted by Sybil and a card with well wishes from all members of the family.

Edith wrote to some of her friends. She wasn't sure, if she should send Sir Anthony a Christmas card too. They had written to each other regularly over the last months; small, formal letters only, but with no unkind word in it.

Of course, he couldn't tell her, where he was and what he was doing. She knew that and tried not to worry. Her doubts were others. He had promised to visit her for Christmas. If she sent him a Christmas card now, he could think that she would doubt his promises. Therefore, Edith delayed her decision until Christmas Eve.

"Here is another for you, Edith", Lady Cora said. "It's from Anthony Strallan again."

"Thank you, Mama." Edith took the letter. She would read it alone in her room after luncheon.

"I thought, he would come to Yorkshire for the festive season", Sir Robert commented.

"That's what I thought too", his wife answered. "Let's see what he writes."

Edith ignored her mother's curious gaze. She would read the letter later, alone. It was her letter and therefore, her right to do so. If Sir Anthony had sent special words or wishes for her parents, she could tell them in the evening.

"Is Granny coming for dinner?" Edith asked to change the topic.

"Not that I'm aware of, no", her father replied.

"She will arrive tomorrow after breakfast, she said", Lady Cora added.

"Fine for me", her husband answered and ended the lunch conversation by leaving the dining room.

* * *

Edith tried not to rush to her room too obviously. So, she chatted with Sybil for about two minutes and answered three of her mother's questions. Finally she was able to go upstairs and to close the door of her room behind her.

Carefully she opened Sir Anthony's letter.

 _London, 22 December 1914_

 _Dear Lady Edith, I never considered myself a person, who breaks promises easily, but unfortunately I have to break the one I gave you some months ago._

He would not come. Edith sighed.

 _For various reasons owed the war, I won't return to Yorkshire neither before, not at Christmas. I feel very sorry about it, but because of my duties, a Christmas holiday and therewith a meeting with you are not possible at the moment. However, I hope this letter finds you well and in good mood..._

Edith tried not to be disappointed, but in fact, she was. All the things she had imagined over the past days and weeks would not happen. She wouldn't see him entering the hall of Downton in his well-fitting uniform. He wouldn't take her for a ride in his car, travelling over the snowy Yorkshire hills.

With an additional sigh, Edith looked out of the window. There wasn't even snow on this day.

She heard Sybil laughing downstairs, singing some Christmas song.

The holidays at Downton Abbey would be as joyful as ever, but not for her. She snivelled.

 _I won't cry_ , she thought. Instead she would write a letter to answer Sir Anthony's.

* * *

"What did Sir Anthony say in his letter?" Lady Cora asked at the dinner table.

"Unfortunately he won't come to Yorkshire for Christmas", Edith replied. "Due to his war duties, he said."

To her surprise, Mary didn't chuckle or answered in a nasty way. Edith realised that her sister's eyes were red from tears. Apparently Mary was still waiting for a letter from Matthew, which had not arrived so far.

 _At least, I got a message_ , Edith thought with a little smile.

"Oh, and he wishes all of us a happy and peaceful Christmas", she added to her earlier words.

"Tell him that we thank him and wish him the same", her mother asked.

"Wherever he might be", Sir Robert remarked.

* * *

 _Wherever he might be_.

Her father's words lingered in Edith's head for longer. She had often thought about the fact that Anthony Strallan had been in duty since the war had begun, while her father – at least nearly in the same age – was still not enlisted.

What did Sir Anthony do? Was he with the fighting troops in the trenches or at the command centre with responsibility for the greater action?

In Edith's mind both was possible and her idea of Anthony Strallan at war grew to some heroic epos.

Such a day dream chased away every scary thought about his doing at the continent. In this heroic mood, she started to write her letter to him. But once she had finished it, she throw it away. This letter sounded dull and childish. He shouldn't think of her as a child.

There was still this odd feeling that Sir Anthony had been ready to propose and had not done it due to some childish behaviour. She could be his wife by now; happy and settled.

Edith went to her cushion by the window. It had been her special place since childhood. Together with Patrick, she had used to sit there, reading stories from their favourite books or telling each other self-invented fairy tales.

In this moment Edith deeply wished, it would start to snow, but it didn't

 _Snow heals the word outside_ , used her nanny to say. She had been right.

 _Perhaps it will start tonight and we will have a special Christmas morning_ , Edith thought. She looked into the darkness outside a little longer, before she returned to the desk for her letter to sir Anthony.


End file.
